How to Practice the F Word like a Champ

Hey Friends!

Today's message is: Practice the F Word

No, no, no...not THAT F word! I'm talking about Forgiveness. This concept was brought to  me by one of my favorite teachers, Gabrielle Bernstein (http://gabbyb.tv/) She really helped me see how beneficial it can be. You might find that practicing the F word can free you, where you once thought you might never have the ability to move forward.

If we spend a little time practicing forgiveness, our world gets a little easier. Feels a little kinder. Less hostile. Less resentment. More loving. In our own perceptions, we may believe that someone has done us horribly wrong. In these cases, it's hard for us to move forward because we hold so much resentment towards this person. "How could they have done this to me? I will never forgive them for what they did." This kind of thinking, while common, is extremely damaging to us. It's toxic thoughts like these that bring us illness, lowers our energy and focus on things that really matter, and ultimately keeps us stuck in life with these devastating, repetitious words that we continue to replay in our heads.

Gautama Buddha said "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."  This resonates with me. How does this make any sense if you word it like this? How are these negative destructive thoughts serving me? Simple. They are not. In fact, half the time you are the only one wallowing in this despair while the other person goes about their day, not dwelling on you. Why indulge in this self destructive pattern?

Here is why you might be indulging in this:
1. It's what you've always done. Someone does you wrong? You write them off.
2. It's just too painful to look beyond what they did. It was unforgivable in your eyes.
3. Your ego will not let you forgive. You're afraid it will make you look bad if you let it go.  What does it say about you if you let someone get away with something like that?

While all of these may be true, there is ALWAYS a way to see things differently. Here is how.

1. Find the silver lining.
Many, many things have happened to me particularly in the last year that I could very easily dwell on and blame others and be angry about. It'd be the perfect opportunity to let anger and resentment creep in and reside in my heart. In my case, when I look back on the entire situation I start to see that if I hadn't met certain people, if I hadn't encountered some others, I would have not learned what I know now. If I had not gone through these things, I would have missed out on some friendships and I would have never been blessed with my greatest blessing of all. My son. When I choose to look at it this way...my whole perspective changes. In fact, my anger turns to gratefulness. THIS is what I choose to celebrate. Not my anger. Not my possible resentment for a situation gone wrong. It actually never "went wrong" at all. It was exactly what was supposed to happen. Take a look of the positives that have come out of what you perceived to be "bad" and realize that maybe you got more out of it than you even realized? Take a moment to consider this idea.

2. Admit to yourself why this is bothering you so much and choose to accept the real reasons.
Did you know that it's almost never what you think it's about? Dig deep and surrender the real reason this is crushing you. Did someone lie to you? Are you really upset about the lie or does this dredge up some old feelings that make you feel fearful? Scared that this person is not who you thought they were? Did you make this mistake in the past and now you are seeing this fall apart at the seems because of this lie that you now perceive as the worst betrayal? See where I'm going with this? Why is this really triggering you and whatever it is...it's okay. This is how you feel. Sit in the uncomfortableness of this for a few minutes and just acknowledge where this is really coming from. Did your husband or boyfriend say something that hurt your feelings and you freaked out on him? If you take a closer look at it, perhaps  it's just the tip of the iceberg of a bigger issue. You perceive him as insensitive and you resent his lack of respect for your feelings in general?  That one comment has now turned into a big fight, but in fact, it's not about that comment at all. Find your real source of pain and work from an honest place. This step is difficult because it's hard to be accountable for our feelings in such a vulnerable way. But if you can pinpoint what this is really about, it could save you a lot of time and heartache in the now and in the future.

3. Choose Forgiveness.
For YOU. This doesn't let them off the hook. It lets YOU move forward from a more loving place. A more peaceful place. Ask yourself, who is this resentment really hurting? We have enough stress, anxiety and anger in our lives. Find the things that are causing you the most and find a way to forgive. Free yourself. Choose to love yourself. Choose YOU. Choose your health. Choose your sanity. Choose coming up for some fresh air. Choose less tension in your body. Choose this release of anger. Choose better this time. Choose forgiveness. 

I hope this message has served you in some way today. I encourage to practice the F word like a champ!

Peace, love and forgiveness
Katherine Leigh (Barefootbrat)

For more, please follow me on Twitter at Barefootbrat.