Hey Friends!
Today's message is: Practice the F Word
No, no, no...not THAT F word! I'm talking about Forgiveness. This concept was brought to me by one of my favorite teachers, Gabrielle Bernstein (http://gabbyb.tv/) She really helped me see how beneficial it can be. You might find that practicing the F word can free you, where you once thought you might never have the ability to move forward.
If we spend a little time practicing forgiveness, our world gets a little easier. Feels a little kinder. Less hostile. Less resentment. More loving. In our own perceptions, we may believe that someone has done us horribly wrong. In these cases, it's hard for us to move forward because we hold so much resentment towards this person. "How could they have done this to me? I will never forgive them for what they did." This kind of thinking, while common, is extremely damaging to us. It's toxic thoughts like these that bring us illness, lowers our energy and focus on things that really matter, and ultimately keeps us stuck in life with these devastating, repetitious words that we continue to replay in our heads.
Gautama Buddha said "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." This resonates with me. How does this make any sense if you word it like this? How are these negative destructive thoughts serving me? Simple. They are not. In fact, half the time you are the only one wallowing in this despair while the other person goes about their day, not dwelling on you. Why indulge in this self destructive pattern?
Here is why you might be indulging in this:
1. It's what you've always done. Someone does you wrong? You write them off.
2. It's just too painful to look beyond what they did. It was unforgivable in your eyes.
3. Your ego will not let you forgive. You're afraid it will make you look bad if you let it go. What does it say about you if you let someone get away with something like that?
While all of these may be true, there is ALWAYS a way to see things differently. Here is how.
1. Find the silver lining.
Many, many things have happened to me particularly in the last year that I could very easily dwell on and blame others and be angry about. It'd be the perfect opportunity to let anger and resentment creep in and reside in my heart. In my case, when I look back on the entire situation I start to see that if I hadn't met certain people, if I hadn't encountered some others, I would have not learned what I know now. If I had not gone through these things, I would have missed out on some friendships and I would have never been blessed with my greatest blessing of all. My son. When I choose to look at it this way...my whole perspective changes. In fact, my anger turns to gratefulness. THIS is what I choose to celebrate. Not my anger. Not my possible resentment for a situation gone wrong. It actually never "went wrong" at all. It was exactly what was supposed to happen. Take a look of the positives that have come out of what you perceived to be "bad" and realize that maybe you got more out of it than you even realized? Take a moment to consider this idea.
2. Admit to yourself why this is bothering you so much and choose to accept the real reasons.
Did you know that it's almost never what you think it's about? Dig deep and surrender the real reason this is crushing you. Did someone lie to you? Are you really upset about the lie or does this dredge up some old feelings that make you feel fearful? Scared that this person is not who you thought they were? Did you make this mistake in the past and now you are seeing this fall apart at the seems because of this lie that you now perceive as the worst betrayal? See where I'm going with this? Why is this really triggering you and whatever it is...it's okay. This is how you feel. Sit in the uncomfortableness of this for a few minutes and just acknowledge where this is really coming from. Did your husband or boyfriend say something that hurt your feelings and you freaked out on him? If you take a closer look at it, perhaps it's just the tip of the iceberg of a bigger issue. You perceive him as insensitive and you resent his lack of respect for your feelings in general? That one comment has now turned into a big fight, but in fact, it's not about that comment at all. Find your real source of pain and work from an honest place. This step is difficult because it's hard to be accountable for our feelings in such a vulnerable way. But if you can pinpoint what this is really about, it could save you a lot of time and heartache in the now and in the future.
3. Choose Forgiveness.
For YOU. This doesn't let them off the hook. It lets YOU move forward from a more loving place. A more peaceful place. Ask yourself, who is this resentment really hurting? We have enough stress, anxiety and anger in our lives. Find the things that are causing you the most and find a way to forgive. Free yourself. Choose to love yourself. Choose YOU. Choose your health. Choose your sanity. Choose coming up for some fresh air. Choose less tension in your body. Choose this release of anger. Choose better this time. Choose forgiveness.
I hope this message has served you in some way today. I encourage to practice the F word like a champ!
Peace, love and forgiveness
Katherine Leigh (Barefootbrat)
For more, please follow me on Twitter at Barefootbrat.
Hi Everyone,
Today's message is: Follow Your Own Path
I think this topic is important. Often we are convinced that what is right for others is also right for us. Often we see what other people have and we think, "THAT is what I should have too." This is not true. This is a lie we've been under the spell of for far too long. Who our friends and family are, is NOT the same as who we are. We are all born into this world as a blessing. We all have something miraculous to offer and we are all graced with these gifts to share. They are not all the same and that is on purpose. We are all meant to work together and use our gifts to grow and help others.
If All Your Friends Jumped Off a Bridge, Would You?
Parents used to (and probably still do) say this to children to get them to rethink their actions. Just because other people are doing something, doesn't mean that it is something you should be doing. I remember in the movie "Heathers," one of the Heathers had gotten so desperate to be accepted, when asked that, she responded "Probably." I remember thinking, how silly is that? Obviously no one would do that. But we DO. Not literally jumping off a bridge, but make decisions that go entirely against our own belief system and intuitive gut feelings. WHY WOULD WE DO THIS?
Reasons we might do this:
1. Lack of confidence in our own decisions. (Am I doing the right thing? Kelly is going it, it should be ok?)
2. Fear of making the wrong decision. (At least if it's the wrong decision, it wasn't my idea.)
3. Indecisiveness. (You are so plagued with indecision, you just go along with ANY decision.)
4. Fear of being made fun of if you don't go along with someone else's decision. (If I don't do what they're doing, they'll make fun of me or think I'm stupid. I better go along with it.)
5. Habit. (A habit that is probably not serving you.)
There are many more, but the point is...make your own decisions. Only YOU know what is best for you. Here is a list of times where everyone else will think they know what is best for you:
When you are thinking of changing jobs.
When you are contemplating getting married.
When you are trying to decide how to parent.
When you are trying to decide what to wear.
When you are trying to decide what to eat.
When you are trying to decide where to move.
Who to date...which car to buy...which shampoo to use...
Get it? ALL YOUR LIFE. Everyone thinks they are the expert. But I'm here to tell you. YOU are the expert on YOU. Only God knows all of you, and you are designed to offer all that you have to us, in your own unique way. No one is interested in a carbon copy of someone else. Ingrid Bergman once said "Be yourself. The world worships the original." All the world ever wants is your true, authentic self because you've got something we all don't have. YOU. Your original, unique, individualized self is perfect just the way you are. You were created for us all to enjoy you, just the way you were designed.
All Roads Lead to Rome
Following your own path can be really hard. I just recently made a huge decision that affected my entire life. I spent years and months and weeks and days and what seemed like more, circling around an enormously difficult reality that I could not navigate around. I first asked close family what I should do. This expanded to friends. Everyone had their own take on what I should do. I quite literally tortured myself with these thoughts and feelings for what seems like forever. In my head, I kept fighting through all the signs that were blaring like bright red flags in front of my face...eventually waving in my face...eventually smacking me in the face for me to get it. My patience was eventually remunerated with a clear cut response after such a long period of prayer and surrender. I finally had the answer. Making this decision was not easy and not painless. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and probably not the most popular amongst it's institution, but it was the answer.
In the end, I'm just where I'm supposed to be. I should have known that from the start. You always end up where you are supposed to be. It's no accident. Be confident that you will be led to where you are intended to stand. I suppose there could have been other ways to get to this same result, but in the end, this was in the inevitable conclusion because I really do believe there is a greater plan. I find peace in this knowledge and I welcome the guidance.
Leap and the Net Will Appear (John Burroughs)
This can be applicable to many things, but in my case, I have never been so scared to leap! Leap I did and the miracle is...the net appeared. As fearful and doubtful and terrified as I once was, I KNEW this was the right decision. No matter how many people threw in their little notions of fear-based warnings, their judgmental chiding, and also their legitimate concern, I followed my own path. I promise you, the net appeared. It appeared beautifully, purely, and supportingly in ways I could not even start to share my gratitude. Have faith. (In God, or the universe...wherever you personally dedicate your faith). There are beautiful results when you can think for yourself and execute an idea that you know will serve you and your family best. Never get caught up in another person's agenda for you. This doesn't mean to never take a friend's advice. No, this only means, in the end, only YOU have to deal with your consequences and you are responsible for your own experiences. In the end, you decide.
Peace, love and decisiveness
Katherine Leigh (Barefootbrat)
For more, follow me @Barefootbrat on Twitter.
Welcome to Barefootbrat Philosphy 101!
Being a dancer for the last 30 years has created an inner love and desire for being barefoot. I feel grounded, present and free when I am barefoot. If I never had to wear shoes, I'd be thrilled. Barefoot to me invokes thoughts of simplicity, awareness and the idea that less is often more.
Everything I share with you are concepts that in my experience, have worked for me. Not all of these ideas will necessarily be right for you, but I wanted to share some tips on what makes the journey for me a little easier and little more enjoyable. Where should you begin? Start here.
1. Clear Your Clutter in your immediate environment
Inner calm starts on the OUTSIDE. This was a hard lessen for me, because in my earlier years, I was a glorified pack rat. I kept EVERYTHING. "I might need that later," I would rationalize. Keeping everything really piles up and soon, you have piles every where. Getting around your home gets harder and harder with "stuff" lurking around every foot of space in your home. In order for you to have inner peace and serenity, you cannot be tripping over things when you walk in your house. You cannot have a landslide of items fall out at you everything you open a cabinet. You cannot have to search for 15 minutes every time you are looking for something in a drawer. This adds chaos and frustration to your already busy life. Here are my three best tips on clearing your clutter:
1. Do not keep anything that is not useful or that you do not love.
2. Have a place for everything.
3. GET RID OF AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. "Things" don't make you happy.
2. Attack the To-Do List
Now that your space is clear of clutter and you are surrounded by things that are only functional or that you love, you should be feeling a little lighter. A little less burdened. The next step is to take a look at the list of things that you have been putting off that really need to get done. This list should include anything that will give you a sense of relief when it can be checked off. House cleaning? Errands? Pay a funky bill you forgot about? Contact that friend you keep forgetting to call or text? Take care of the things that will lighten your mind and therefore lighten your step.
3. Do YOU
Your space is clear. You conscience and your calendar is freed up now that you have conquered or at least made a dent in your list. Now is the time to DO YOU. What does this mean? Take an hour. Take 30 minutes. Take time (NO EXCUSES) to do something that you enjoy. Life gets busy, but I promise you when you are on your death bed, you will NEVER look back and say you wish you'd done more laundry. What you spend your time doing is your choice and I highly suggest you make the time to do what you love. Love to read? Blog? Take your son to the park? Go to the beach? Meditate? Eat your favorite ice cream? Whatever it is, DO IT and make no apologies.
I hope you have enjoyed this content and continue to check in on the Barefootbrat for tips, ideas, thoughts and stories on life and how to possibly make your life work better for you.
Peace, love and clutter-free,
Katherine Leigh (Barefootbrat)
For more, Follow me on Twitter @Barefootbrat
